Apples Not Included: In a Nutshell
by The-world-needs-peace
Summary: Yet another fan's addition to the ANI network and it's crazed Pokemon adventures... what's that? You've never even Heard of it? Well then, come inside and learn with Charlie the Pichu the wonders of these works.
1. Tales of Flame In

Welcome, One and All, to my lovely rendition of ANI, In a Nutshell! For those fellow fans that have arrived within my humble abode, come have a good laugh at the familiar character's expense through a new pair of eyes. For any possible newcomers, prepare to get a taste for what this great Network it all about, through the eyes of another fellow newcomer. First up of course, is Buwaro's infamous work: Tales of Flame. Second chapter will be a walk through of Dark Magician Girl Aeris's lovely and provocative Anomaly, and the final piece of the trilogy will conclude with Rizuchan's whimsical Hoenn Chronicles. (Well, not really final piece. The epilogue will bring us all home, but by then the purpose of this fic will have been fulfilled and you will all be free to go, technically speaking.) All chapters in order of the Apples Not Included network. (I realize Anomaly is older than ToF, but Buwaro-san started the network, so don't point that out to me.)

This is in response to the ficlet contest hosted by these authors, while the truth of the matter is this idea came into my head long before that. I'll give the full story after this chapter so you can skip it if you want.

Three warnings for this chapter. Number one: There are at three counted and purposeful ooc moments in here, because if I kept these characters in character, no doubt a brawl have broken out if I let it carry on, and I certainly don't want that for this chapter, otherwise I'd never get the damn thing done. (I now have a better appreciation of why Buwaro never gets any arc done in a short period of time. Sheesh.) So they're a tad more passive than usual.

Number two: I've decided not to get a beta reader for this, because as I've learned, I message a lot, get a couple in return, and need to wait a long amount of time between messages only to find that they get busy with life and can't actually carry out the time. I do not want to wait a month to get up a four chapter story. Especially on a deadline. So if there are mistakes I missed, I apologize.

And last, but most certainly not least... there are a couple references to British humor in here outside the usual dialogue, but it's actually because that is My sense of humor- I do it all the time in life. This chapter just gave me an excuse to use it, hehe. I just love witty humor, and love to poke fun at my own country. (Even if I did have to find a substitute for 'Americans') Though I am certainly of the Star spangled Banner, so I don't know a lot of English phrases, just the more common ones used through the chapter. they just presented themselves so perfectly. So don't think I'm making fun of Bu-san or anything.

So, on with the Show!

* * *

This day- this lovely, beautiful, sunny, perfect day- was a fine day indeed.

"Watch it!"

The sun was slowly moving into the western hemisphere across the sky, already indicating late afternoon. A cloud or two also made their journey across the tranquil blanket of blue. There was a fine wind blowing to cool the sun tanned trees, rocks, grass, Pokemon, and humans. In the mountains there was a very large, unnaturally made clearing, rectangular in shape and very flat and smooth, give or take a few million specks of dirt and gravel. The red brown of the mountain stone glared from the direct sunlight.

"Heads up!"

Though that did not stop a certain group of active creatures from taking advantage of this sunny day.

"Get her!"

Run run, bash bash- "Oof!"

And each other. Yes, this infamous troupe of pokemon could only have fun in one of the most adventurous and violent ploys imaginable: Football. One small Charmander kept sprinting even as at least three other pokemon came after her. The blue helmet on her head glared white in the light, while the plastic padding on the front of her body glared gray. She whirled and threw her treasure over the heads of her pursuers.

"Go long!"

The oval-ish brown textured ball sailed across the rocky terrain of the carved mountain field. Six blue helmets, and three red helmets scattered and darted toward the designated landing spot. In the very center, a single lizard stood, with one pair of orange arms reaching high above his blue helmet. With a small jump, he caught the ball. And there was much rejoicing. Karren, a lovely Kirlia on the side lines, waved a little blue victory flag to prove that point.

"Stop him!" a floating pink kitten's voice cried.

"Run Flame," cried a distraught green fairy of similar size, "run!"

And run Flame did. The trophy remained close to the scaled torso, and one single paw remained out to drive and push against the enclosing bodies; those bodies that were once his friends and comrades. To the side went the ferocious and glaring Totodile, away went the usually sweet tempered Nidorina, up went the beloved Treeko, -courtesy of Flame's foot- (which was ironic considering that they were actually on the same team and that the reptile was actually helping to fend off the attackers. Though in retrospect, it might have had something to do with Fervo's jab at Flame becoming the sacrifice for his love interest) and there, near the very end, would be the greatest challenge yet…

The huge, muscled, aggressive, expertly psychotic Umbreon.

The two forelegs bent down, stretching its back in preparation for a pounce. The black defender wagged its tail tauntingly and smirked from under its helmet. It shook it's midnight body just a bit, before it leaped forward. The creature of darkness tore the ground of the arena of all arenas, right at the treasure held securely in the arms of fire and claw, while the lizard charged for the desired goal, behind and past the midnight shadow threatening to challenge him. Alas, sacrifices had to be made, where even family had to be pit against one another for the sake of this war of wars. Flame vs. Blacky. Blacky vs. Flame. A pair that no one ever imagined would be brought up against each other. Collective gasps muffled sound and wide eyes transfixed onto the final front in the battlefield. Unconsciously, all rose and leaned as the two were ever closer in their charging. Blacky jumped.

"Oh bugger," the Espeon sibling of the Umbreon swore at the sight from the sidelines where she sat next to Karen, "he's done for!"

No… Flame could not afford to lose now… not even against his beloved Blacky. He jumped.

"They'll crash!" Roco exclaimed from the other side of Karen.

Indeed, it seemed as though all was lost. However, as it turned out. Flame's jump was really a jump-_start_. For as he sailed across the floor, he rolled under Blacky's flying form, got up, and kept running. Blacky landed with no difficulty.

"Aw, I missed!" the kitish black dog whined.

"Now why didn't I see that coming?" Squirt asked himself.

Flame merely grinned toothily under the blue helmet as he neared the goal line. Ah, sweet victory. This would make the score 21 to- "Eek!"

The feminine exclamation of surprise (which he _swore _he could kill Sarah for) popped out unexpectedly when an equally unexpected _bone_ twirled and planted into the dirt at a diagonal angle right at his feet. There was no time for him to lift his paws, and his clawed limbs tangled and tripped over the obstacle. He tumbled forward and landed flat on his face only to slide forward several feet with his hind legs in the air behind him. Dirt and gravel kicked up and scraped in his scales even when he stopped. The ball swiveled out of his clawed hands and finally lay still, one inch over the line. Useless, since he was no longer holding it. Blue irises that darkened even further with anger leered up from the white grate up at the Cubone that plodded to him. Even through the skull, it was obvious Sofia was pleased: her black eyes glittered with blasted smugness. Two fingers stuck up from her brown outstretched hand.

"_Two_ apples."

"That was cheating and you know it."

"I didn't hit you." She shrugged. "It's not my fault you're a clumsy sod."

Fangs and teeth ground together in agitation while she whistled even as she wrenched out her bone club. It was at least three meters from where Flame lay now. The other team closed in around her as they prepared for the kick off.

"Close, but no cigar." Fervo pat his shoulder consolingly- whipping his hand away when Flame growled at him.

Everyone lined up, and the ball was handed over to the Red helmets. A tiny figure floated forward, the little pink body wrapped in sections of gray and the usually active long thin tail rolled into a crotch guard taped to his back.

"Alright then," Mew pointed at Scyther, "You're up."

The tall green insect took a few steps back, and held out his blade arms. Blacky and Cray sprinted forward behind the line of blue while Tate and Sofia remained back.

"Oh bloody- everyone get back!" Celebi ordered.

-

The tiny bundle of yellow and black panted as his tiny legs carried him forward, step by step by step. Crawling the gentle slope felt like climbing up a tree at this point. No…had to get out of this narrow mountain path, had to keep going forward… later. Finally he collapsed forward in a shaking heaving heap. Dirt darkened and sweat dampened the yellow fur to his skin. He sniffled. Where was everybody? Mama, papa, sister 1 sister 2, brother 1, brother 2, brother 3, the four aunts, and six uncles, with his cousins all playing around in the fields so happily, while he watched on the sidelines to avoid becoming the ball… he sniffled again. He could here them now, laughing, yelling, screaming, swearing…

His little rodent brows scrunched lightly in confusion. Wait a second… they never used naughty language before. Well, they did, but they were usually careful about it.

The little Pichu lifted his head as the voices echoed through the rocky walls of the canyon. None of them really sounded familiar in the least. He lifted himself up as best he could, well rested, but weak in his tiny limbs. Crawling slowly again, he remained on the rocky path toward where the voices resonated from behind a wall corner. Slowly, his pace increased. Oh please oh please, let it be help! His little round face was bright with hope. Charlie came upon a wall, and turned the corner to see… the biggest, scariest looking Pokemon he had ever laid eyes on. All with huge round shiny heads and a powerful sheet of armor. He winced. Oh Meowth they were running and attacking each other so savagely! And, and, there were some were kicking and shoving and they were throwing something weird around and yelling and screaming and some were even flying without wings, and and... what was _wrong_ with these pokemon!?

Pika, Flame, and Scarlet of the blue sprinted far back on the field while Grovyle, Squirt, and Fervo were slower to catch up. Scyther inhaled once to focus. The wings on his back buzzed into action and he glided forward. The armored foot flung back and snapped forward. Away it flew, all Pokemon sprinting as fast their legs would carry them. Naturally those with four legs were already gaining, though the effort was useless. The ball sailed directly over the heads and bounced off the wall on the opposite end of the field and flew to the side.

Though no one could see from where they stood, the ball nearly hit a stunned Pichu that ducked and put its little paws over its head.

"Steee-rike!!" Mew yelled.

"Not strike." Tate countered. "This isn't baseball."

"Eh, same thing." Mew shrugged, "We're butchering the rules anyway to let the four legged critters play. Game's silly anyway, those Hoenns were just too wimpy to go for rugby." he pointed to the passage where the ball bounced, "Go get the ball."

"Yeah, hurry," Blacky bounced eagerly, "the sun's almost down!"

"You kicked it," Tate pointed out to Scyther, "you go get it."

"And have Scyther slice the swinub skin?" he asked innocently.

Swinub skin? Little Pichu's eyes widened from under his paws and he shook all over. Oh Holy mother of Meowth! They were cannibals!

"… did he seriously just call it a 'swinub' skin?" Fervo clarified to Squirt.

The Wartortle blinked and nodded. "Who even uses that term anymore?."

"Okay then," Pika took charge and pointed at the one other flying pokemon, "Scout you go get it, you're not doing anything else."

The Pidgeotto was the only Pokemon in the clearing that did not have a helmet or padding on. (Besides Sofia and Scyther, who could not fit a helmet.) Birdie eyes glanced at the ball's projectile and looked back innocently.

"I am the referee, it is not my job to retrieve the ball." the top ridges of his wings went up in what was obviously a shrug, though he lost a few inches of air to do it. "Besides, I'd pierce it too."

"Urgh, fine, I'll get it," gracefully offered the ticked Wartortle.

"Thanks Squirt," Mew grinned, "you're the best!"

"Yeah yeah."

He hurried away as fast his combined shell and plastic padding would allow, very conscious of course of a certain pair of eyes that followed.

"Everyone else," Celebi called out, "line up center!"

Little Charlie remained frozen as he huddled and stared at the display of shadows on the wall beside him, for he was too frightened of watching the Pokemon themselves. One of the big scary Pokemon was coming right toward him! Baby Pichu rose his gaze up and up and up with the growing height of the shadow. When there was a tiny movement from the corner of his gaze, he whipped his head around. The creature that came up around the corner was at least four times his height. With a big shiny blue head, and white slit armor more powerful than anything he had ever seen before, with evil narrowed eyes that pierced straight into his soul.

"YUWAH!!"

Little Charlie shrieked and unwittingly released his reserves of electricity. The beast let out a sound of protest and retreated back behind the corner. Teeny bolts of energy scattered about the rocks, and shocked the little Pichu right back. Charlie was hurt and tired and spent… So he fainted.

"Squirt? What's going on back there?"

Squirt was just trying to deem whether or not it was safe to look again. His eyes unsurely darted to the corner to the impatient teammates.

"There's a crazy mini Pika shocking me for no reason!" Squirt called back from his trembling form.

"Who's crazy?" Pika leered.

"Not you, this little guy," he pointed at the corner.

Pika blinked and waddled to join him, while Blacky darted forward with curiosity. The yellow rodent stuffed into the awkward white padding and shiny blue helmet teetered through the passage from the rocky square to join Squirt while Blacky had already run all the way around to see.

"It's tiny!" He came forward and prodded it with his paws. "Hey, don't fall asleep here."

Pika peeked around the corner. Suspicion turned to worried shock as she hurried to the dizzy Pichu lay. She wrenched off her helmet to get a better look.

"Oh no!" She glared accusingly at Squirt. "Poor thing was scared half to death."

Here, everyone paused their fidgeting. "Poor thing?" That thing had to be damn cute to incite that reaction from her. Fervo and Cray were the first to head forward, with Mew flying past them. The Wartortle at least twice the Pikachu's size backed up and held his paws up placating.

"Hey, I was the one nearly electrocuted." Squirt defended. "I didn't do anything, promise."

"A Pichu's energy isn't enough to electrocute anybody-" Pika snapped, "-besides itself."

Her paw lightly pat the little round head, as baby groaned and its eyes tried to open. Though they never could get more than halfway. Cray crawled forward and looked on sympathetically- all rivalry and relation hostility gone. Feminine wiles had a tendency to do that.

"He okay?"

"Yeah, little guy just got excited is all."

"Judging by the yellow puddle by the little guy's feet, I'm prone to agree." Fervo added sagely as he peeked around the corner.

"My my, what have we here?"

Mew had to ask as he came to hover over the dazed creature. He prodded it lightly with his finger, earning an interesting incoherent protest.

"No… too many big scary Pokemon, don't hurt me, let me live!"

"Hm, you found him alone?" he asked Squirt.

"Yeah, just him."

"Funny, he's so far from Viridian."

"This kid must've wandered off then." Fervo deduced.

"You mean…" Blacky's eyes widened, "you mean this baby's lost from it's family?"

"Well, I guess, yeah…"

The little Uembreon sniffled.

"Wha- hey wait, it's not that bad," he gave a half desperate shrug. Blacky, crying, not good, "really, the kid's fine, see?"

He picked up the little Pichu by it's foot and shook the upside down critter to make him wake up and prove his point. Charlie got _really_ dizzy that time and tried to say something, though it wobbled with his movement. It was either 'Put me down' or 'Cut me around.' Pika snatched him and scowled at Fervo before righting the Pichu and holding it at a more acceptable position, close against the plastic still on her.

"Poor little guy!" Blacky trotted forward and nuzzled the child with his helmet head. "I'll take good care of you, I promise!"

"Blacky," Squirt sighed, "He's not something you can take in as a pet."

"What's this about taking in a pet?"

Flame peered around, his paternal instincts tingling at Blacky's tears.

Fervo bristled. "I swear, I did nothing, the kit starting doing that on his own!"

"Uncle Flame!" Blacky hopped up next to the Charmander. "This poor baby's lost from it's family. We gotta help him!"

Flame blinked and looked down at the Pichu.

"Oh."

So that was what was going on. He had to beat back the growing feminine desire to coo and cuddle the poor little thing.

"And help him we will." Mew answered solemnly through the red helmet. He puffed up his chest and put his little paws on his hips heroically. "I will use my amazing psychic power to discover this little Pichu's sad and tragic past, and do everything in my power to return him to his rightful home. Everyone," he spun about, and proclaimed with complete professionalism: "I will need you all to stand back. This could get very dangerous, and I must not be held responsible for any accidents."

"Accidents?" Cray clarified.

"Just a precaution." Mew assured.

First he yanked off the wobbly and too large red helmet and let it plop on the ground, then he shimmied and shed the armor. He finished by plucking off the cup on his back, letting his tail unfurl and stretch, leaving his all natural kitty body.

"Ah, much better."

"Isn't that a little dangerous?" Cray had to ask about Mew's lack of disguise. "We don't know him and his family could be nearby."

"Eh, it's just a baby, probably couldn't understand what it was seeing anyway." Mew excused.

He hovered lower and held out his hands to the Pichu. Pika glowered and held the baby closer to her and turned away. Mew shook his head.

"Relax, really. I'll just read his mind a bit and figure out where he comes from."

Pika still did not seem convinced. Her dark eyes narrowed and held on tight.

Mew sighed. "Fine, you can hold him. Takes the awesomeness out of it though. It's getting crowded, and I'll need some room, so lets go back to the arena."

_More like an audience_, a select few who knew Mew thought.

"I guess this means the end of the game." Flame muttered sourly.

There went his chance of evening the score with Sofia. Everyone turned back to return to the other half of the awaiting team. Some grumbled, some whistled, others cooed the infant, and one kept his eyes on the protectively maternal Pika. The other waiting team, referee and cheerleaders languished impatiently, crossing arms, tapping feet, all around fidgeting. Celebi was the only other one in the air, as Scout had landed on a rock wall and rested. Simultaneously they all looked up at the incoming group.

"What happened?" Grovyle asked.

"Him."

Squirt pointed at the little Pichu, looking for all the world half sleeping in Pika's arms. Until he spotted all the new faces and turned to bury his face in his arms against the shoulder pad. Everyone blinked. Both at Pika's softened expression and the little critter in her arms. This was the thing making so much commotion? Scarlet stepped forward, and her own usually hard face melted at the precious figure.

"Oh, poor little thing, he looks so tired." she murmured.

"I can't imagine how long he's been wandering." Pika agreed.

Karen, who had come up while they were talking saddened at the sight of the small dirtied and obviously exhausted mouse. "Will he be alright?"

"He should be," Cray answered for Pika, "As soon as we know where he comes from."

"Good," Spiral nodded in approval between them, "I bet his family must be worried sick."

Charlie peeked out unsurely at the softened and friendly female faces. Well, this was not so bad. No one was hurting him, and everyone seemed nice enough.

"H-hi…"

The girls all gasped and squealed. Oh, the sweet little darling!

Here, most of males snorted at the gathering flock of females, though Fervo shook his head and Squirt wondered if he would need to lend some moral support. No one associated with Flame- he was muttering to himself again.

"Honestly, what makes girls so mushy around little kits?" Fervo asked no one in particular. "Sure they're cute but this almost seems unnatural."

"Funny, cuz it's nature's defense mechanism."

Fervo turned to see Grovyle strolling up beside him.

"Nature's defense mechanism?"

The long green head nodded sagely. "Think about how those girls usually act. Now imagine they had children." Grovyle ignored the shudder that rippled through Fervo at that, "Kits are generally useless and annoying and whiny, especially when they just hatched and can't even talk yet. If they weren't adorable enough to make even the toughest and craziest females turn into those fawning creatures you see there, the entire Pokemon race would be wiped out after two generations- three at the most."

There was a moment the Treeko considered this. Then Fervo's yellow eyes widened at the rather logical argument and nodded stiffly. "Nature's defense mechanism."

"Alright ladies, give him and me some room." Mew shooed them all to give some space, just before Celebi swooped in.

"Hey, whatcha got there?"

"My good deed!" Mew shot in front and held out his paws protectively, "Go find your own!"

"Aw c'mon, let's share, I wanna help him and be a good guy too."

"No, mine!"

"Stingy." Celebi pouted though backed away. "You always get the attention."

"Right," he floated up a little higher and looked out to everybody. "Silence please."

All side conversations ceased and an eerie quiet descended upon the large ragtag group. All eyes turned to observe the curious spectacle unfolding before them. Hovering up above Pika and Pichu and facing the creatures before him, the final living descendent of the greatest ancestor of all Pokemon held out his tiny paws, closed his eyes and concentrated.

A holy rose light fanned from the Legend. Tuffs of blush fur undulated in the invisible power currents swirling within the aura. The tips of his ears, his hand-paws and hind legs delicately swayed in the wind within the halo. Cerulean sky orbs opened and glowed with power. Dazed black button eyes that had watched the heavenly sight contently closed slowly in a gently induced sleep.

A majority of the onlookers looked up with awe and wonder. Never before had they seen Mew actually live up to the expected nature of a Legendary Pokemon. Though there were a select few audience members that were… less than impressed. Show off. Still, no one made a sound as Mew opened his mouth.

"_Higher Powers of the Heavens beyond_," his voice resonated through the clearing with psychic power, "_lend me your holy power to aid me in this Endeavour_-"

"Hypocrite, you pushed me away!" Celebi yelled.

"-_**adequate**__ holy power_-"

"Hey, I have plenty of holy power."

"-_with the wisdom to keep his yap shut_."

"Now that's just rude."

"Oh get on with it!" Flame yelled out.

"Yeah, get on with it!" Fervo called out.

"Yeah, get on with it!" everyone yelled.

"Never disturb a psychic performing a ritual!" Mew called out from his glowing magical aura angrily. "Now, SILENCE!"

And there was silence. The rose aura extended from just around Mew's body to focus through his paws to descend upon the Pichu. Everyone watched. Pichu snorted, and Mew twitched. His glowing cerulean eyes closed halfway and became hazed in his trance.

"_Mama_…" he murmured in a much younger voice that was not his own. "_Mama, please, don't do this_…" It grew pleading and worried, "_Papa I'll do anything_…"

The emotion and heart wrenching plea made the female Pokemon and Blacky horribly worried. It made the others grow more serious. Except Flame who's eyes slit in a peculiar manner and had a worried expression just like the women and child. Just what could this poor kit have locked into his tragic past?

"_Please papa, anything, I beg of you_… _anything but the Brussels sprouts_!"

Several bodies hit the floor, while the others just leered dryly. Flame was the first to pop up from the floor.

"All that for a lousy meal? Don't be so dramatic next time!"

Mew snapped out of the trance. "Hey, I'm channeling the kid's memories and emotions, it's not my choice. And don't do that again, you could have cause some serious psyche damage if I had gone deeper."

Flame merely crossed his arms and glared.

"Flame…" Squirt narrowed his eyes as he took a good close look at the reptilian face, "Were you crying?"

The Charmander glared through the watery eyes with murderous intent.

"**No**." he growled. _Seriously_ was going to kill Sarah.

"Right, trying again." Mew stated. "This time: NO INTERRUPTIONS!!"

There was dead silence now. Satisfied, Mew tried again, this time deciding that his best bet was to keep quiet, in order to avoid something like that happening again. He lowered until he was standing on the ground in front of Pika. He put a paw on his head to signal the connection, but did not go into the same theatrics as before. Lousy ungrateful audience did not deserve it.

Black. Chaos. Terror.

Ripping growls and jolting teeth. Jarring stomps and towering forms. Eyes of ruthless blood and armor of ivory bone. Fur of rattling earth and striking obsidian. Beasts of great power flitting through the surroundings of brown, green, sunlight and shadow. Cries from flying and scurrying creatures. Yellow and orange and black furred family and friends all running, all screaming for help and mercy as they are flushed from their homes. Wild chases scattering and destroying and panicking for the sake of the chase. And deeper yet within the mind, deep inside, cloaked with the darkness of forgotten instances, buried under the lighter, more pleasant memories of the horrific instant…

Mew's solemn expression remained a moment longer even as he psychically broke contact from the play of memories. He lifted his paw and let it lower to his side.

"Well?" Fervo asked.

"It's worse than I thought." Mew answered quietly.

Everyone waited, and Pika held him closer.

"This child…" the kitten face raised up to gaze upon the eager and expectant audience, "hates carrots too. _Ow_!"

A rock collided with the pink kitty's head and he glared at Flame. The orange lizard already had another rock prepared in his claws.

"What about the kid's _family_?"

"Oh, he got lost, just like we thought." He shrugged. "We just gotta put him back into the woods near his home where we found him and he'll be fine. His name is Charlie, by the way."

"And you know where his home is?" Scout inquired, just to clarify.

"Yeah, I can recognize the trails and signs to follow. Hand him over."

Pika silently refused.

"Come on, it would take all day me to wait for you guys, and you gotta get going soon."

"Then just teleport me with you and I'll hand him over to his mother myself. I won't take any chances."

"But what would be the point of that if I can do it myself?"

To prove his point, Mew engulfed his body in light, before a Raichu's form took his place. "See? Now come on."

"Well… what if he gets scared in a strangers company?"

"You're a stranger too."

"But he-"

"Pika," Crescent sighed, "I'm sure he appreciates your concern, but come on, the kid just needs to get back to his family where he belongs, he can't stay with you."

Charlie stirred momentarily before giggling and snoring. Pika looked at him, then at the others. Half of the group simply seemed unsure, not knowing how she would react to the child being taken away. The other half was sympathetic, but not willing enough to come to her defense. Seeing as how she would get no help or assistance, she reluctantly handed him over. Crescent took him in his arms. Little Charlie opened his eyes blearily for a moment. He was met with a Pikachu's adoring and worried face, and a Raichu's goofy grinning face.

"Guess what Charlie?" the Raichu spoke, "We're goin' to Candy Mountain!"

Charlie blinked and looked over at the Pikachu groggily. "Really?"

Pika nodded and forced a smile. "Yeah Charlie, it'll be an adventure."

"Yeah, candy mountain, right." little Charlie clarified to himself. "Okay, I'm just goin' back to sleep now."

He snuggled in and let his mind drift again. Everyone could not help but let their hearts soften at the sight.

"Right-o" Crescent grinned. "I'll be back soon." He hummed a little tune before murmuring: "_In the big rock candy mountains, there's a land that's fair and bright_…"

And with that, he teleported out of sight. Pika looked longingly at the spot where the transformed Mew stood moments before, before Fervo came up from behind her.

"You know…" he incited and caught her attention, "You make a pretty hot mama."

The bright red bled through the already cherry cheeks. One electrified fist shot up under the Treeko's chin, just before Pika stomped away indignantly. The others easily cleared a path for her before she even reached them. Squirt could not help but raise an eyeridge.

"Hot mama? You thinking about those Treechu?"

Fervo twitched. "No! I was just distracting her!"

"Distracting her," he nodded slowly, "right."

And walked away.

Fervo might have considered giving a middle claw salute, if he had not been trying to get those damn Treechu out of his head.

* * *

_phew_ So there you have it, first installment. Like I said, a few moments of slight oocness, but it is all for humor sake, so I hope the authors and fellow fans will agree with me. Also, I did try to get a basic feel for the original humor of the piece, but my mind is also on another cast of equally diverse and crazy characters I am trying to write, so their actions might be subtly different than normal. But, the ToF crazy cast is what got me into this world in the first place, so I was definitely doing my best to provide a tribute to them.

So, so, I hope you like it! Charlie is fun to write. Panick panick run scream! faint. I feel that's objective enough for an oc, don't you? I tend to like characters like that, they're fun. As for the beginning of this fic... it did not start out that way, I swear. It started football, but then somehow I got that one song (Something about a couple running to each other on the beach) stuck in my head, and then the writing followed that comedic tone. Before anyone asks, the thing with Sofia and Flame and the apples: I wanted to include her in this chapter too, because I like her. To get her in, they bribed her with a bet. (How many takedowns she could prevent) Now it would make sense if it was between her and Fervo, given his grudge, but I think as the game progressed, it would have transferred more over to Flame. Just what I think. Especially with stunts like that. And Scyther counted as two pokemon, so that's why Celebi's blue team had one more. And the fawning females... it just had to be done. What female with a heart (no matter how twisted with butch and psychopathic tendencies) could resist a tiny panicky Pichu? And I felt I had to clear the mystery for all the males out there that might have asked the same question as Fervo.

Now, I actually came up with this idea last year, September 27. (Well, a few days before that technically) I read Not quite Drunken Silly, and when I read about the Air Ice Hockey, I laughed at Fervo's lack of response. It was so perfect, considering that this is all normal for them, they don't even think twice about it. Though I thought of how Mew and Celebi weren't exactly hiding their actions, so anyone could see it, like a passing pedestrian. Or a runaway Pokemon.

And that was where Jerry the Pichu was born. (I nixed that name, because at one point (I can't remember if it was before or after this... probably before) I came across another fic with Jerry Pichu there, so I wanted something different.) Anyway, I thought of all the crazy things in ANI, and what a 'normal' Pokemon would think about it all. I remember the date, because it was mentioned as Anomaly's birthday, and I thought: Gasp, that's one month from my birthday! Maybe I can make a request and use that as an excuse! (That's right, my own b-day as a request excuse. Is that pathetic or what?) ...No, wait, they probably won't bother with a request from a new fan so easily anyway. And of course I would want to be in control of Jerry, so that's out of the question. The best thing I could do would be to ask to roleplay with them to make the script, but again, new fan, and the request is just plain weird. Fanfiction is bad enough, but to write about the characters of a fanfiction author? Come up with your own damn characters and ideas. (I'm very critical of myself you know)

Well, that bothered my off and on for a little while, though eventually the idea went away as I beat it back.

But I guess my subconscious wanted to write it more than I realized, because as soon as I saw the words: Essentially, me and Aeris are letting you all loose with the ANI cast- I screamed: "Oh My God YES!" right in my chair. I hadn't even thought about Jerry in months, but instantly my mind whirred again with ideas. A single weekend and I pounded out the manuscript for the rough drafts of the first three chapters. My hand still hurts...

So anyway, yeah, that's the story of how this fic started, and brief fun thing about how this chapter came out the way it did. I have a lot to say so I'll talk more about the other chapters in... oh great. Now I have no choice but to do my own psycho babble This is way to long for a stupid Author's Note. Bloody Brilliant.


	2. Anomaly A

And so, the second edition of Apples in a Nutshell, featuring Anomaly! Yes, everyone cheer and clap now! Be amazed, by anticipating and excited!

So, warning for this chapter: Again, lack of beta reader due to time contraints, so apologize for any tiny mistakes. Got rid of all the glaring ones though. I think.

Second warning: The toughest character for me to write was... Ellie. It sucked, because I feel like I couldn't get in her head as much as I could. I read the chapters, went through and revised, so now it's better, but at first I just couldn't get her. shakes head Not like Mew and Anti who give me lots of material to work with. Hehehe... Actually I think the easiest character for me to write was Mewtwo. Though maybe Aeri-chan wil disagree. If anything I almost made him _too_ cruel I think...

Bah, what am I thinking with this stupid... psychobabble. shudders Gotta find a way to get out of that. Read! Hurry, read like the wind!

* * *

_I'll see you all this coming fall, in the big rock candy _…

It was quiet in the cave with only a single soul to fill it. A small golden flame cast a soft glow to battle the shadows of the rock hollow, revealing the odds and ends upon the stone wall shelf and on the floor. A single used hair brush, two ribbons and a mirror crossed upon each other, waiting to be picked up with interest again. The only life beside the white candle was a human girl with glinting curls of honey bark, and shining eyes of mahogany. The other two usual occupants were outside, in that one training program that was supposed to help Eve. Anti was keeping watch outside, and Mew was… who knew where Mew was. Ellie had to resort to distracting herself by reading her book for the millionth time. Not that it would be a problem, but she wanted to actually go out and do something today. Which conflicted with her orders to stay inside. There was nothing fun to draw, she had brushed and played with her own hair for long enough, and she was not hungry, so could not use that excuse to go out and do something. So now she was stuck here, doing her best to be a good girl. It sucked being the only little human with nothing to do.

"_Ellie_!" a mental voice singsonged. "Oh _Ellie_!"

The little girl looked up from her book at the telepathic call, recognizing Mew's voice instantly.

"_Would you come out here please_?"

"Coming!"

Ellie smiled eagerly at the request. Finally, something to do to get out of here. The bookmark slipped in, the book plopped down and she hopped up eagerly. She skipped out of the round room, and down the hall. The vines at the top of the crude staircase parted for her and she stepped through into the dappled forest light.

"Yes?"

Mew and Anti both floated next to each other in the shade of the foliage, their faces and posture eerily in complete synchrony. Both were floating, and slightly bent over with their paws behind their back. Even their tails were swishing in perfect harmony. It made them appear as though they eager, and knowing. About something. It made her more curious and excited. The clear gray kitten face scrunched in a serious gaze as he swung forward.

"_Hey kid, you been good? Not getting into any trouble_?" Anti asked solemnly.

The child shook her head quickly in denial.

"Nope, I've stayed inside and quiet, just like you asked me." She crossed her hands behind her back. "Can I come out yet?"

"_Not yet kiddo_," Mew assured, "_We know you've been good, and we wanted to give you a reward_."

"A treat?"

"_Not this time_."

"Another story?" she stood on her tiptoes eagerly.

"_Nope, something even better_."

"Really?" Her young face scrunched in thought, before it brightened, "You're gonna take me to a Legend!"

Anti burst into snorting giggles at the earnest joy at the guess. "_Not that much better. Oh Me, I love this kid_."

Without Further ado, Mew brought around what he had hidden behind his back. "_Ta-da_!"

A bright, clean, slicked and resting tiny Pichu hung from his arms. A little blue bow tied loosely around his neck to display his status as a gift. Ellie's lightly disappointed expression brightened instantly and she cooed. She held out her hands and Mew gently let the creature down in her hands. He slept on obliviously to the trade taking place with its life, even as her finger stroked the soft head.

"It's so tiny…" She looked up. "Where's it's mama?"

"_At a football field ready to interrogate Mew for his whereabouts_." Anti snickered.

"_Hey, if I'd have told her the truth she never would have let go_." Mew leered at the snickering counter part before he sighed and shook his head.

"_His family is gone. They were flushed out by a construction team's Houndoom. They'll start tearing down his home soon enough_."

"How awful…" Ellie saddened for the little Pichu's sake. "Are they all okay?"

"_They didn't hurt anyone, just scared them all out. It shook him up pretty bad though_."

"_Which is why it's up to you to help him_." Anti swerved in front of Mew- though it did not conceal the pink kitten anyway- and looked to the human child gravely. "_Ellie, will you do your utmost to help this poor little Pichu_?"

Ellie nodded determinedly.

"_Will you keep him with you at all times, and keep him safe_?"

She bobbed her head excitedly. "Yes."

"_Do you swear_-" he drew himself up straight and tall in mid-air, and his voice resonated with authority, "- _to train him to become the most powerful Pichu this world has ever seen, and to protect him with life and limb_?!"

"Yes!" she promised and straightened as well, eager for the following order.

"_Alright, then we're good_." Anti relaxed. "_Just don't let him out on his own_."

"_Sheesh, and people call me dramatic_." Mew muttered.

"_You are, you just get to be more exciting in a few years_." Anti grinned.

"I'll take good care of him and make him happy again." Ellie promised and brought their attention back.

"_Good, we knew we could count on you_." Mew smiled. He sighed, "_Now, I'm back of to my errand to return the equipment… and face Pika's questions. His name is Charlie by the way._"

"_Have fun_!" Anti called as the white light of teleport engulfed the pink body. "_Well, you take him in now, while I go see what's taking those two so long. If Mewtwo pulled that stunt again, so Arceus help me I'll_-"

Ellie was already inside.

The cherubic human smiled at that little patch of yellow that was even more vibrant than her shirt. Lying stomach down on the cold rock floor with her chin rested on the back of her hands, she kicked her feet back and forth in the air while her head swayed back and forth rhythmically. Charlie breathed softly and slept contently on the worn quilt bundled on the floor. Ellie was sure the other psychic cat would not mind, given the circumstances. She just wanted the little guy to be comfy, and not risk him rolling off the bed accidentally.

"Charlie…" she mused to the critter, and smiled, "what a cute name."

_Candy mountain…Candy mountain… you fill me with sweet sugary… silkness?_

Yes, silkness. And tightness. There was something silky and tight around his neck. His little paw scratched at it, and found it did not initially come off. He scratched a little harder.

"Hey little guy."

The startled mouse flipped to his feet and stared at the face before him. Angelic, young, soft, sweet and-

"HUMAN!!" He shrieked.

"Aw, you're awake." Ellie grinned, unaware of the terror laid out before her.

She reached out her hand to pet him- and he shot forward to avoid the child's fingers to reach a region of safety. Well, he tried anyway. The heavy quilt did make him trip a couple times while the hand slowly chased him. The critter scurried forward, looked behind him to see where the human was, and ran smack dab in the middle of a wall.

"No wait, don't worry I won't hurt you, I wanna help."

"Liyeas…" he warbled.

Slowly Ellie rose to her knees and crawled forward. Charlie swayed and stumbled in his attempt of running off. Momentarily he paused and shook his head, then made another mad dash. Around the giant he hurtled, straight onto a spiky deathtrap that had been hidden by the giant's body. Tripping and crashing over it rather grandly, it was a moment before he got back up. He winced.

"Ow…"

"Oh no, I forgot to put Eve's brush away. Are you okay?"

Eep! No time to be hurt! Away he dashed once more, to the door that led to darkness.

"No wait, don't go out!"

Obviously Charlie would pay her no mind. Instead he rushed out the round opening in the rock, looked down the halls, and shot up the crude rough stairs, with Ellie coming close behind him. The vines caught him in his jump and Ellie caught him by the tail in trying to pull him in. The yank triggered his electric current and he let out his mini lightning. Ellie squeaked and released him, escaping the bolt sprinkle, though Charlie was not so fortunate. The little shout of 'Piiiii!' was the signal to his own pain the attack caused. The yellow puffball managed to pop out of the vines after another moment of wriggling and burrowing through.

"No, we're supposed to stay inside!"

The giant fought through the vines too to try to catch him before he went away, though they were tightly woven and difficult for someone of to work through. For once his size aided him. If he had looked back he would have noticed the vines opening up abruptly enough for Ellie to fall through in a surprised heap, thanks to helpfully genetic super clone that was wondering just what the heck was going on.

Needless to say, Charlie did not look back, nor did he listen. Scuttling along the forest floor, he managed to reach more level ground, and put more distance between himself and his captor. He knew he had to hide and get away. Ah, the trees would be perfect! Unfortunately for him his claws had never truly grown in, but he was fast and little paws could still get a grip in rough bark. He circled around a tree and hopped onto one of the silver roots and jumped up. A shame this tree was not like other trees. He went so fast he did not notice the initial shudder that went through the not-so-arbor structure. His little paws grasped onto the smooth furry bark of the thick trunk with a little more danger of slipping than usual, but if he could make it into the purple leaves toward the red fruit, surely the human would lose interest in… wait a second…

The more prominent shaking of the tree was harder to ignore… and the voice as well. Two of the three fruits disappeared, and one of the knobby branches moved toward where they had been to muffle… giggling?

"_Stop_," a great and powerful voice resonated through the trees, "_that tickles_!"

A purple tendril much bigger around than Charlie's body knocked him off the silver trunk and sent him sailing in the air. He cried out as he sailed through the air, doomed to the inevitable break onto the hard ground below. The distraught human saw this, and lunged forward. Just before he landed in something not painful, the human jumped and skid on the hard grassy floor to catch him with her hands, just in the nick of time. Relief Charlie felt turned into confusion when he was pressed against something big and soft. Glimpsiing two huge pale arms, he realized with horror it was the human. Tiny whimpers escaped as he was cuddled and held against her breastbone.

"Careful Eve, he's just a baby." she pleaded.

The baby Pichu pressed his eyes together and his ears over his head at the volume, even when the words vibrated throughout his own body. He even went so far as to bury his face into the arm.

"_It's not like I meant to harm him, he surprised me_."

Charlie tilted his head up and opened his eyes only to instantly freeze at the sight in front of him. Standing on the dirt and grass carpet, two long massive feet attached to two thick legs that were curved and spring loaded for a high jump. The muscled thighs gently curved into a slender belly and up into a chest that reminded Charlie of the armor of the scary Pokemon he saw earlier. The tree branches were actually lanky arms, and the leaves were a fluffy curled purple mane that waterfalled behind her plated shoulders. There was an apple that she held by her gently curved feline jaw, though the other two 'apples' he saw earlier were actually the irises in her trigonal eyes. Blood Diamond. His own eyes widened. The leonine creature before him stood calmer and ready now, with that massive purple tendril- that he could see now was her tail- rubbing down the itchy trail on the her feet, up her thigh and along her side. She bit into her apple again as the human child cooed and stroked the yellow rodent in her grasp.

"_What's that_?"

Charlie instantly looked around. Where had that voice come from?

"It's a Pichu, the pre-evolutionary form of Pikachu." Ellie helpfully informed. "Anti's letting me keep him!" She scratched between the ears, making Charlie stiffen. "My first Pokemon…"

Evetwo swallowed her bite and rolled her eyes, and Charlie looked back at the movement. He relaxed enough to stare in awe and wonder, seeing that he was not being maimed.

"_I know that, I mean… what's he doing here_?"

"Oh." Ellie's wide brown eyes turned beseeching and she switched her grip on the critter in her hands and held him up to Eve. "This poor little guy lost his family, and Anti told me I had to take care of him and make him happy again. I'm worried because I've never taken care of a Pokemon before, but I've read and seen a lot about it and learned a few things from my brother so I think I'll be okay."

Garnet eyes blinked at the wide-eyed Pichu in her face. So this is what Anti meant when he said there was a surprise waiting back at home. That at least explained the bow. Take care of him and make him happy again… Uh-huh. She was gonna go out on a limb here, and say it was more likely just to give the child a distraction. Obviously it was working. But if this little guy was quick enough to get away from Ellie and even travel half way up her body without realizing… She eyed him warily, finally becoming unnerved by his wide-eyed, gaping stare.

"_What_?"

"Are you…" he lowered his voice to a whisper, "are you _Mew_?"

…

There was a few moments of silence. Ellie could not understand the tricky Pichu dialect, Charlie was waiting for the answer of what was obviously the legendary Ancestor of all Pokemon, and Eve was still surprised at the completely unexpected question. Sure, she had been called a legend before, but never actually confused with Mew.

"_Um, no_." she finally answered.

"…Really?" his round little head tilted to the side, "then how come I can hear you all around me?"

She sighed. This was Ellie all over again. Well, if Anti brought him here already, then her divulging basic information should not have to be a problem. And she had to clear him up anyway. Mew indeed.

"_It's a psychic thing, I'm in your head, not all around you. My name is Evetwo. Or just Eve_."

"Yeah-" Anti popped from thin air in between them, "You don't really wanna meet Mew anyway. He's not nearly as fun, good looking, or as powerful as me."

"YUWAH!" Charlie bristled in terror, "GHOST!!"

Evetwo and Ellie jumped at the cry, and the unwitting shock from the creature made Ellie drop him. As soon as he stopped rolling he scurried away.

"Ah, I wouldn't go that way," Anti warned and adopted a lisp. "I tought I thaw a putty tat."

Charlie, for some strange reason took this information to heart, and tried to skid to a stop to change direction, but that objective quickly became forgotten. The mud cratered into a trail behind him until he halted. The little round head tilted back, and his jaw dropped. The button black eyes shot open in alarm and his jaw dropped. There were five simultaneous pops as round red apples that had been floating in the air burst in chunks of fruity pulp. (Actually, four were floating, and the fifth was Eve's. She was not pleased about this in the least. There was a facial twitch forming from her aggravation actually, however her response was drowned out by the perpetrator's antics, so thus had to be ignored for the sake of dramatic affect.) A tree that had been close to the Pichu snapped and exploded in a salvo of wood splinters under the sheer force of the enormous purple tail that whipped against it.

At first there was only an ebon silhouette that towered against the enflamed sky and orange glare of the dying sun- a bipedal Arcaean creature with purpurean light conveying menacing power from the stretched deltoid eyes. Even with the earthquake the fallen tree caused, the diminutive rodent did not remove his eyes, and stared hard enough to take in the more identifying features of the monstrosity before him. Enough to take in each locked, trembling muscle; enough to take in each stretched and prominent vein; enough to take in each tendon struck out from under the skin as the enormous body clenched in a suppressed tumult of rage. The light of the sunset shone to highlight the sleek silver and purple fur on the outline of the shape, giving a stark contrast to the darkened color from under the shadows. The gentle jaw line was rigid, the four bulbous fingers on each small hand were clamped, and the slender arms were unyielding- but the monstrous tail perpetually wrenched and lurched behind him. The Sartorius beast made Charlie's entire body quake even when petrified. And the creature was not even looking at him, but at the Pokemon and human behind him. If they had made eye contact, he might have died on the spot.

"I did!" Anti 'jumped' for joy, "I thaw a putty tat!"

"_**What. Is. This**_?"

Contralto throbbed through Charlie's already rippling mind and body. Eve and Ellie managed to both perfectly portray the image of meek innocence. Mainly because Mewtwo's obvious temper was enough to make them speechless. Both could feel the tingling of their minds being assessed, Mewtwo far too impatient to wait of answers. It was such a brief skim that Eve could not even attempt to pull up a barrier.

"Well, that's a Pichu. The pre-evolutionary form of Pikachu." Anti informed helpfully. "Hardly worth breaking a tree over."

"_Do __**not**__ toy with me_," the tail cracked and the eyes literally flashed with his flare of anger. "_The Pichu itself is irrelevant. Can I not turn my back for a second before you constantly add more nuisances for me to look after_?"

Eve gave an affronted scowl, and Elllie flinched at the flare of emotion as Anti shrugged.

"Didn't I ask you to not get mad? The kid was lonely. Things are getting busy and she needs company."

"_And I suppose he will need a companion to prevent him from becoming lonely too? And maybe the two young Pokemon will pine for some paternal figure to help look after them when the human proves unable to care for them_." His brow and head scrunched further down. "_Where is the limit? How many are you going to risk bringing in before you __**finally**__ deem it as unsafe?_"

"We won't have to worry-" Anti swerved up to be more level with the over-six-foot-tall feline, "-even if he did run off and try to tattle, he's just a baby, no one would believe him."

"_He is not an infant, he merely has stunted growth. He is matured enough to look after himself, regardless if you removed him from his homeland_."

"Hey, he ran away. Come on, look at this guy-" he pointed to the still shivering and petrified Pichu below, "does he really look like he'd fare out in the wild?"

The towering titan whipped his gaze down the pointing paw to the tiny creature at his feet. The second the glowing lilac eyes made contact with the black button ones, Charlie's fluttering ceased. His lungs stopped working, his body straightened and locked in place. The stiffened body swayed, and toppled over, without unfreezing from it's position.

"No, Charlie!" Ellie ran forward with no thought of consequence, ignoring Eve's psychic hiss of "_Ellie_!" and cradled the little Pichu. She begged up to the Pokemon before her: "Let him go please, he won't hurt anyone else, promise!"

Now what was the human going on about? It took a moment for Mewtwo to figure out through his building emotional storm what the human was implying. The momentary silence increased the growing tension so much, that Anti started to focus his energy in preparation for a barrier or attack. When Mewtwo did eventually figure it out, he blinked, and the glow diminished to reveal his neutral amethyst irises, immediately dislodging the nervous tension.

"_I did nothing_."

"…You didn't?"

"_No_." the purple tail behind him slowed its jerking into a more natural sway, "_He was so startled he unconsciously induced self-paralysis_."

Ellie blinked up at him. Mewtwo stared back.

"_His fear triggered the instinctual desire to remain still_."

Ellie actually tilted her head slightly. Mewtwo's eye twitched.

"_He froze_."

"Oh. Why didn't you just say that before?"

Oh honestly. "_I did_."

Ellie looked down at the frozen Pichu with no reply. Her finger nudged the Pichu's head. Little tears sprung from his eyes.

"See? Mewtwo's so scary he makes babies cry." Anti frowned. "Poor widdle thing…"

Mewtwo ignored the specter while Evetwo snorted. Deeming it safe again, she followed up behind and looked at the tearing rodent. He sniffled.

"I'm gonna die, aren't I?" He whined. "Mama, papa…"

"What's he crying about?" Ellie asked up.

Eve even felt her inner Kathryn tug at her heart at the pitiful sight. She answered: "_He misses his family_."

Little Charlie curled up on himself and the little paws rubbed at his eyes.

"Now come on, you can't say you're not moved by that." Anti said, "You'd have to be a cold heartless bastard to not be affected by that."

Mewtwo leered. "_I'm not_."

Anti was exasperated. "Oh come on!"

"_He wouldn't be so miserable if you put him back with his family_."

Anti sighed. Of course this would come up. His eyes flashed, and he whispered to him: "_His family's dead, Mewtwo. The kid can't remember because he can't cope with it right now. We can't send him back, he'd just break, not with the trauma he just went through_."

This time, both Eve and the girl frowned at the two older psychics. What were they talking about that could not be said aloud? Mewtwo had gone over Mew's explanation a few moments before in Ellie's mind, but had honestly forgotten about it in the emotional seconds. He peeked into the sobbing kit's mind to see what trauma Anti referred to. This explained their newest deed a little bit. Still did not excuse it.

"_Having a reckless paranoid Pichu with us is out of the question, not when he can escape from us so easily_." Ellie disheartened at the implicate accusation, though Mewtwo did not glance her way. "_Do you plan to keep him until you deem him strong enough to handle the news and send him back_?"

"Oh no," Anti mewled aloud and grinned, "He's sticking with us. Ellie needs a starting Pokemon after all."

The glow was back, and the tail snapped. Eve put a hand on Ellie's shoulder to pull her back, and the child complied.

"_You plan to make the child a __**trainer**_?!"

"Start_ing_, not start_er_," he relented, "At least to give her a good defense, when worse comes to worse and no one else is around. Come on now, with the lifestyle you lead, it's bound to happen at some point."

Mewtwo's eyes glowed white instead of lilac, and Anti focused his power for whatever counter attack he would need.

"No, Charlie!" Ellie cried in despair.

Anti looked at the child's empty arms where the Pichu was, just a moment before. The wide brown eyes water and her lower lip trembled while Eve tried to pat her shoulder consolingly while leering up at her brother.

Anti glared at Mewtwo. "Arse."

"Hmph." Was the only reply he made before turning and looking for more damn apples.

Charlie squeaked as his backside landed on something hard. His tears ceased and he looked around startled and in confusion. And horror. Where was he, how did he get here? Thinking back he could remember… he was watching a group of big scary armored Pokemon in the mountains, and a ball headed right for him and then… he was at this strange place. There were humans everywhere, with mountains that were gray and shone in the increasing moonlight, and fires that were upside down and smooth. There was light coming from openings in these mountains too. Even directly in front of him, there was a curtain of light that poured over his tiny body. There was a huge sign overhead with funny designs, that was actually human for the words 'Pokemon Center,' but Charlie was not well versed in human so did not know this. All he knew was that he was in once again unfamiliar territory with humans as far as the eye could see. There was even a pair coming right toward the invisible barrier that was sliding open to greet him.

"YUWAH!"

Across the cement, across the asphalt, he flew like he had never flown before, the little blue ribbon all but forgotten around his neck. He weaved and zigzagged around pedestrians, no one thinking to catch him because they assumed he was already heading back for his trainer. He traveled surprisingly far, considering he was starving, nearly dehydrated and had spent the last twenty-four hours running like the wind. Adrenaline could do some amazing things. The little paws pitter-pattered on a wood ramp he came across, one of the few places that was not swarmed with humans and other Pokemon. Yes, there was a big metal cave, he could hide in-

BREEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOO…

Electric jolts shot from the rodent body in shock. The entire bridge and his body shook at the force of the great roar from the metal cave before him. He swayed and started to tumble back.

"Oh no!" a human gasped. "You poor thing."

Big hands scooped him up protectively. Charlie shook his head out to clear it and blinked at the human fingers. Tilting his head up revealed a pale but heavily freckled face with a great red mane with curls the size of his feet.

"Good thing I found you before we took off," the human was saying, "What would your trainer do if we left port without you?"

This she asked as she headed up the ramp with Charlie securely in her grasp. Oh bugger.

"NO!" Charlie called to the heavens.

* * *

Whoot! Heck yes, done and done!

...I'm sorry Eve! bows I tried to give more time to her, really, but you all see how Mewtwo is, he's so damn chatty and ominous and I really like dramatic text so I got a little overboard... I hope it was sufficient. sniff I tried...

So yep, my attempt at a tribute for Aeri-chan, my absolute idol. To have such an amazingly succsessful story with an original character with such a rich backstory... Absolutely amazing. A true inspiration, and the cattle-prod I needed to start my own project. Salutes Thank you!

Well, I could certainly become emotional and praise this entire works and just why I absolutely love it, but you alllove it anyway and didn't come for a personal ramble- wait, personal ramble... (after a moment on dictionary. referance. com) the wacky maunder. I like it... hah, beat that psycho babble, I have evaded ye!


	3. Hoenn Chronicles Nutshell

Hi Everyone, Happy T-day! (And by that, I mean Thanksgiving, not Tree day) Hope you all had good dishes. And now, you get to enjoy this little bit, the final ANI episode of this little fic.

So, give a nice warm round of applause for the last, but most certainly not least, edition of Apples Not Included: Hoenn Chronicles. A beautiful fic simply for the fact that Rizu-san actually has humans exist in her story. ToF Hardly ever mentions the humans, and Anomaly certainly has the Pokemon playing the bigger role. xD

MY biggest obstacle to get over was Snuggles, but after him, everything else fell into place fine. Well, that and Greg... he doesn't really have a clear picture so I had to take liberty... Sorry Rizu, I hope you don't mind! Erm, feel free to look back everyone so you can remember how the last couple chapters went, sorry for the wait.

* * *

Four days. That was the complete time it took to cover the distance of vast, deep, blue, impassable ocean. No trainer claimed the unwilling stow away, thus Charlie was left on his own to wander. (After he escaped the evil caging stronghold of the human) He spent two of those four days hiding. At first all he knew was that he had been captured and held prisoner on this morbid sick, desolate… place. Only after the third day did he learn that this was a 'cruise ship.' To this day Charlie would never understand the necessity of plush red carpet. It was rather hindering to those who were trip-prone. Though even this dark, Mewforsaken (for some reason he shuddered at that word, and vowed that never again would he use that word, for a reason he could not understand) holding had some useful information. The second day he came out of hiding, he learned that it was only the smaller humans that one had to avoid. Squealing hurt his ears, and getting picked up and petted all the time was annoying. And he learned that silently begging led to some tasty treats.

When the ship finally came to a standstill, it was bright and early, a brand-new day for a brand-new land. (Though Charlie was not really aware that this was a new continent. In fact when the ship first landed he was actually lost below deck as the passengers filed off. Eventually he found his way back, so it was not all hopeless.) When he first saw the open door, completely unguarded, he did not believe it at first. Then slowly, carefully, cautiously, the little mouse crawled to peek around the edge of the door into the light. Blinding white bathed his tainted body and purified his dark eyes to the brink of tears.

"Land!" He cried joyously as he broke into the bright, cheery, invigorating, welcoming rays. "Freedom!" Scurry scurry went his teeny tiny feet and away he flew down the aluminum ramp.

Actually it was quite cloudy, but Charlie did not care. The road called to him with open arms and in pure ecstasy he jumped and flipped and danced and scampered in circles. Yes, land! His excitement bubbled over into a kneel, and he kissed the hot black asphalt. After blowing and spitting the dust from his lips, he joyously looked around him. Hope and determination helped him make it back to the funny mountains with invisible walls and upside down fires and odd black ground! After his exuberant celebration he stopped and looked on to the path ahead of him and started his on his way. Now he just needed to go…

He stopped; and looked around. It was only as he saw the pedestrian crowd that accumulated from his antics before that he realized he had been so concerned with escape that he had no idea how he had gotten there in the first place. Secretive whispers and coos made him grow uneasy. All this attention was disconcerting…

"Hey, unblock traffic, people!"

A trill made several people in the crowd turn in time to see a human on top of a skinny metal-wheel monster peddling right for the center of the walkway.

"YUWAH!"

The crowd parted instantly to avoid a crash, and away Charlie fled across the familiar cement squares of the sidewalk within the city. Panic coursed through him and made him forget to dive to the side to evade the danger.

"Move it, rat!" the human on the monster ordered.

Charlie whined as his natural quick Pichu abilities kept him just far enough ahead to keep from being flattened. Just barely; if he did not get away now, there would be free Pichu pancakes for all these people to enjoy. The agitated human was not slowing down, and Charlie grew increasingly more desperate from the enclosing wheels. He swore his tail could sense the hot rubber spinning closer. A single glimpse of his salvation came after what felt like hours of a chase (which was actually about three minutes.) There was a break on the walking side of the pedestrian human wall, and in blind desperation, he leaped. In the miracle that was convenient coincidence, the doors opened for passage, and he tumbled in. The bicycle sped on as the glass doors behind Charlie closed in a barrier. He heaved and panted in excursion.

"Whoa, look at the little guy."

"The poor thing…"

"Did you ever see a Pichu jump so high?"

"What a jerk!."

"Yeah, too bad he's already taken."

Charlie glanced up, then down at his dubbed collar. Already the choking thing was slipping off. Actually it was surprising it was still even on. A pair of flashy white and neon green sneakers nearby caught his eye, and he walked up to them. He nudged the blue jean leg with his paw. Curious brown eyes looked down in surprise, and Charlie lifted the blue ribbon to indicate it, which caused a trio of darkly dressed trainers in the corner to whisper.

"Aw, how come that guy gets all the Pokémon?" One of the boys asked.

"Yeah, they just walk right up to him, lucky bastard," muttered the other.

"What was his name?" The small soft voice of the girl asked.

"Greg, I think."

"Greg…" the girl cast her black eyes to him, and her voice dropped an octave. "Forever more let his name bear the weight of the pernicious curse."

Charlie could not repress the chills running down his spine. This human probably could not hear the murmurs, but he could.

"You want me to tie it for you?" the human he could only assume was named Greg asked.

Charlie nodded. The human knelt, and the Pichu noticed how shiny his silver hair was. His long bangs looked awful fun to play with. He also wondered why this human had a pair of goggles over his forehead. Cursed short attention span made the curious critter divert his attention _again_ to the stretched and smoothed satin thread. His eyes refused to move away as the long fingers deftly unwrapped and smoothed out the loose ribbon ends. His little rear wriggled and his hind legs crouched in preperation… no! Now was not the time. From his reserve Charlie pulled in every ounce of willpower he had to not jump and catch the ribbon. The helpful stranger moved to wrap it back around the small neck right before a robin-egg blue blur jumped up to grab at the navy strip. Charlie leaped back reflexively as a four stumpy-legged creature with large rabbit ears jumped up at the navy ribbon. A moment of speculation recognized it as a Nidoran, though at first he thought it was a girl, but now he wondered if it was a boy…

"No, Snuggles, bad!" Greg pulled the ribbon away and tried to hold the Pokémon back. "_Ow_, pull in your horn!"

But pulling away the ribbon only made the Nidoran hop more zealously. The little Pichu grew uneasy at the Jealous and heart struck eyes on the little battle of wills right next to him. The studded belt he could see under the red shirt that rose with the stretching arms disquieted him too. Charlie placed one paw behind him, and then another, then another, with his eyes trained on the leaping creature and his ears trained on the click of the Nidoran's claws against the linoleum. Snuggles ceased jumping, and turned to look at the ball of yellow fluff moving in a curious manner. Charlie froze and stared at the creature only just bigger than himself staring as though scrutinizing an alien. The human that had been battling with the Nidoran let out a sigh of relief. Then the triangle hearing tools for Charlie twitched. Snuggles glanced up, Greg groaned at what he knew was coming, Charlie squeaked, then ran when Snuggles chased after him.

"Wah!" little Charlie cried, "someone help me!"

"Wait, Snuggles, stop!" the human Charlie now decided officially to be male shot to his feet and chased after.

Greg still held the ribbon though made a grab for Snuggles, who in turn jumped forward and simultaneously snapped at the black furred lighting bolt, making Charlie pull forward and crunch his tail to avoid it being snatched. The two Pokémon dashed under the chairs of shockingly unaware humans and Pokémon, much to the amusement of those who were watching. Those trainers and partners who were intelligent enough to move away before getting crashed into snickered, or just plain howled at the spectacle. Greg was mortified when the two darted between the legs of standing spectators, especially a pretty brunette with an orange sweater and short green skirt.

"Why does this always happen to me?" the girl cried.

Greg was too hurried and scared to ask. Shrieks sounded through the center with the poor boy tumbling out hurried apologies with his efforts still on just catching up to the critters causing the ruckus.

"Please slow down…" he huffed, "people aren't meant to run this fast!"

The race turned down the healing wing, even as Greg begged them to _not_ go that way. Newly released patients and trainers jumped back before becoming a halting catalyst for a crash and watched with bewilderment. Seeing the oncoming dead end, Charlie strengthened his resolve and darted on, even when Greg felt mixed relief and unease. With a determined jump Charlie flew a good foot high onto the wall, then jumped off the wall to fly over Snuggles. The Nidoran followed the movement with his eyes even as he kept up the chase. This resulted in him scrambling in a turn only for his rear to smash into the wall. The human ceased running and tried to stumble into a stop before crashing into the wall as well, and this innocent little Pichu squeaked while trying to avoid the big clumsy green sneakers. It was a miracle, but he avoided being squashed. Human hands had enough instinctual sense at least to shoot out onto the wall to stop his momentum. Snuggled recovered quickly and simply shot through Greg's spread legs to continue the chase.

"For crying out loud." Greg bashed his own head against the wall in frustration. Why was he the one trying to calm the erupting scene of chaos? He turned to follow. "This has got to _stop_!"

Charlie bumped into another Pokémon as they rounded a corner on the desk, which in turn made Snuggles crash into him, which in turn had Greg trip over the huddled bodies, which in turn had them rolling onto the laminate flooring. The human half twisted his body to at least fall on his side instead of his face, though his arm felt the blow when his elbow took the brunt of his fall. Well over a dozen pairs of eyes blinked and stared in mild confusion, amusement and wariness. Two watched in satisfaction, and the third and smallest merely watched with calculation while the human hissed in pain and rubbed his elbow, the Pichu on his side worked to yank the lower half of his body out from under, the dark blue creature flailed its legs about since it was suffocating, and the Nidoran… was not moving from under the human's legs.

"It begins." She murmured.

There was a distinctive high-pitched squeak of protest from under the pile of sore entertainers, and Greg instantly snapped up in alarm, letting Charlie pop out. He twisted and stretched his arm to reach under himself to retrieve the unfortunate casualty. She stopped flailing and gasped for air as soon as she was lifted.

"Mudkip! Mudkip, I'm so sorry, are you alright?"

Charlie shook his head to regain himself and turned to see the human teen cradling the Mudkip against his breast. The young kit blinked and stared at the orange-cheeked, robin-blue-bellied, head-finned Pokémon rubbing her side with her paw, with colored human eyes looking critically at her. The creature cast her round black eyes up to him and nodded her head to affirm his question, even if she was a little sore..

"I'm so glad that you're alright," his eyes softened and his smile conveyed pure relief for a moment before it dissipated from his lack of energy, "I don't know what I'd do if you were hurt." He sighed in exhaustion. "You mean a lot to me, Mudkip."

Mudkip's stunned eyes widened at the admittance and watered in her stirring emotion.

"Greg…"

The guilty joy she felt from the concern prevented her from finding the right words. Instead she reached up and licked at his chin. This brought his smile right back. Thankfully, he was focused only on Mudkip, otherwise the poor boy would have blushed profusely at the audience raptly watching the scene with aww. Lightly he pet the side of her head, and winced. Confusedly looking at his hand where a small red scratch burned awakened the throbbing pain of another and with a surprised yelp his legs jerked.

"Greg, what's wrong?" Mudkip wondered.

Snuggles underneath moved and snored lightly, but everyone else watched as he twisted and shifted until the other side of his leg was visible. Collective shocked and horrified gasps resounded through the center as hot dark red bled into the denim from the crimson shining through the frayed fabric.

"Damn it," Greg hissed while releasing Mudkip.

Instantly the uninjured hand clutched onto his leg in attempt to slow the murdering pulse, but it did not stop the occasional faint pump of blood spilling forth. Judging from the angry festering wounds, there was not much time left. Mudkip looked up to him and placed her paw on his uninjured thigh with worried eyes, to ask for his own health and safety. A single trembling hand reached out to pet her in reassurance while the other remained holding onto his wound.

"I'm fine Mudkip, really. Don't-" a clipped whine stopped his reassurance and his hand clenched over his heart as a particularly painful throb burned through his veins.

"Greg, Greg no! Keep yourself together!" She begged.

An obviously pained grimace that was supposed to be a smile made Charlie's eyes tear. The Pokémon could tell he was done for when he grunted again and his head nodded forward.

"No!" Charlie couldn't help but call out desperately to keep his attention, "Greg!"

A single lethal sway that was far too strong for this poisoned victim's weakening balance threw him to the floor. Shocked shrieks and gasps went ignored and unnoticed as both Mudkip and Charlie flew forward and valiantly shook Greg's prone shoulders, even as tears blurred their vision.

"Greg- Greg no! You gotta open your eyes!" The littlest Pichu begged.

And the youth did, only the bare minimum in order to see his closest starter Pokémon's tear-stained face.

"Don't cry, Mudkip…" The expression was distant and clouded with pain as long fingers trembled to reach up and touch the wet cheeks. "You gotta take care of yourself… you'll do that, right?"

Mudkip nodded eagerly. "Yes, yes, I will, just get up and get better!"

Greg lightly donned a placating hand under the gills of her cheek as he smiled sadly. He let his eyes drift shut.

"Take care of yourself," the hand weakened and fell away, "Mudkip…"

Shocked eyes stared as the hand bounced off the floor, for there was not even a breath of movement.

"It is done." A faint voice whispered.

"NO-O-O!" Mudkip wailed to the heavens. With frustrated sobs she flung herself onto the prone trainer's limp body. "_Why_?" Pokémon's legendary grief poured into her tears and her cries, "_Why _was he cursed to live out a stupid dramatic death cliché? Now I'll never be taken seriously!"

The trio from the corner stared on.

"You must have really hated him." The boy raised a brow.

"Yeah, a dramatic death is your strongest curse." Agreed the other.

The faint smile of amusement never wavered from the girl's lips. "The Mudkip's pain… is so delicious to watch. I must see more…"

Snuggles yawned and wriggled from under Greg's legs. No one turned to him at first as he popped out and rolled over onto his feet.

"That was fun, can we do it again?"

"You! This is all your _fault_!" Mudkip turned and slapped him with her tail fin. Gasping through her sobs, she cried: "if you hadn't started chasing that Pichu, Greg wouldn't have gotten stabbed and would never have become delirious enough to actually express his dormant protective nature for me and…" she stopped as she considered this sequence of events. "Wait…"

"Excuse me."

A looming shadow cast over all three Pokémon and the single fainted human. The slowly the critters looked up to the friendly and sweet faced Nurse hovering by them.

"If I treat your trainer one last time-" her eyebrow twitched with restrained anger, "Will you promise to _never_ return to this Pokémon Center?"

Mudkip had no choice but to nod mutely as the stretcher arrived to assist the poisoned Greg. She did not know how she was going to explain this to Alexa when she returned. Though she hoped the young Pichu who had brought about this regretful yet plot filler catastrophe and valiantly attempted to help her with Greg would stay to assist her again.

Well, another day's chaotic chase put to rest. Another fine case for Charlie the Pichu to close and record and be done with. Now was his chance. If he had any hope for escaping into a normal life, to get away from this insanity, it had to be now. Turning away from the scene of property carnage, the maturing kit rubbed his eyes to wipe away the evidence of emotional grief.

_Rite of flight, Aid me one last time… _

Mudkip turned just as the Pichu inhaled and propped up on his back legs in preparation.

"Wait! Where are you going?"

The Pichu stopped and whirled about at the cry. "I must leave. The fates call me out onto another adventure yet."

"But why? I need your help, here, with me."

"But my help is done." Black button eyes cast to the ground sadly. "There's nothing more I can do."

"You can stay here," Mudkip murmured.

Charlie only turned.

"Stay Pichu, stay!" She pleaded, though in vain. "They have no legal claim,  
No shadow of a shame  
Will fall upon thy name.  
Stay, Pichu, stay!"

"Nay, Mudkip nay!" He turned away, unable to look straight into her begging eyes. "Tonight I quit these walls,  
The thought my soul appalls,  
But when stern Duty calls,  
I must obey."

The desperate soprano rushed to him. "Stay, Pichu, stay!"

The heart torn tenor clasped her paws with his own. "Nay, Mudkip, nay!"

"They have no claim-"

"But Duty's name-"

"No shadow of a shame-"

"The thought my soul appalls-"

"Will fall upon thy name-"

"But when stern duty calls-"

"Stay Fredrick stay!"

Charlie stared. "My name is Charlie."

"Oh." Mudkip blinked, brought out of the curse of obscure musicals. "I knew watching dancing pirates would do something to my head."

The girl snarled. "Damn it, there goes my dramatic parting lovers …"

She pulled out her paws from him and sat back normally. "Well, see ya."

"Yeah, bye."

Charlie followed suit, and even added a little human wave as he sat back on his haunches and prepared his now much needed escape. He was already going mad.

The spirit of Speedy Gonzalez aided him in his time of need, and let him escape lightning quick. The windows had to be opened as soon as he left to air out all the dust he left behind. Onto the roads he traveled, away from the metal-wheeled monster, away from the humans, away from the dramatic curses, away from the strange mountains, into the woods again he flew. He finally stopped when all seemed quiet and still. And collapsed. Why did this keep happening to him?!

"Hey-"

Charlie jumped and whirled around to see yet another blue face, though with curious blue eyes, large ears and a white ruffle around the head.

"How'd you get all they way out here?" the female Vaporeon asked in confusion, "Wait, don't tell me, Mewtwo got to you, I know, but teleporting you all the way out to Hoenn seems extreme, even for him. I always thought he had too big of a stick stuck up his arse."

Charlie did not answer, too confused by the words to make sense of anything. Crescent's ear flicked, and the blue eyes brightened with excitement. She turned off the dirt path and hid in the foliage confines of a bush.

"Quick, hide, here they come!"

Charlie did not want to know who 'they' were, or what they were doing, but was quickly learning that these encounters seemed inevitable in his life and it was best just to go with them. A loud thud caught his attention and he glanced to see what might have been one of the most terrifying sights of his adventures yet. He could vaguely remember a green lizard from several days ago, one that had shaken him rather violently, so he could recognize the Treecko; even when the body jumped and jerked unnaturally high in midair. Wait, that other creature looked familiar too… yeah, she was really nice. Quiet and pretty and nice.

"So, think I've gotten _cuter_, huh?" the creature hissed between his teeth, "Think I'm even _prettier_ without the bandages?"

Charlie's eyes widened. He took it back- he took it back! The Treecko, whatever its reply would have been, was too dazed to even answer. His eyes and head swirled with destroyed equilibrium. With no visible arms or other type of support the body turned and descended slowly. It paused in front of the Kirlia face down. The long white stick arms held onto a square bottle with an orange nuzzle with more human writing Charlie could not read.

"Well, let me demonstrate just _how _much cuter I am now."

Precariously the bottle tipped over. Though this poor kit was too concerned with watching their silhouetted forms against the darkened cloudy sky, the shadows of the prone Treecko and alien being before him cast their ominous production on the large tree trunk beside him. The bottle glazed across the back as a deep masculine chuckle flittered through. Charlie's eyes widened in horror as the perpetrator's head threw back to guffaw at the gray storm. A flash of lighting and a peal of thunder broke through the churning storm clouds just as the Treecko rotated upright- feet first. Charlie ducked his little head down as the victim sailed and thumped onto the arbor directly beside him with enough force to shake a few leaves loose from the branches. Kirlia psychically chucked the bottle of glue into a bush, narrowly missing the yellow mouse shaking in plain sight. Though Kirlia saw only green and red- no room for dandelion yellow. His maniacal grin and glowing ruby eyes were enough to terrify anybody watching, not just a paranoid Pichu.

"Yes," unabashed joy dripped from the hiss, "maybe a few hours in the rain to clear your head is just what you-"

"Kir…lias…"

The insane glare from the ruby eyes dissipated instantly at the name from the Treeko's lips. With a… K? Not a G?

"…yeah Jack?"

The still slightly dizzy Jack blinked and grinned at the wavering vision of two lovely Kirlias. Well, it was curious exactly what they were doing upside down, but he was willing to forgive an odd quirk or two.

"Care fer a night out'n the town ladies?"

A stone collided with his head and he instantly conked out. The glow of Kirlia's eyes returned.

"Stupid idiotic Treecko!"

Oh sure, he was just gonna let him get away with lying out in the cold rain for a few hours, but no, that was _far_ too tame a punishment! Several rocks rose in preparation for the punishing volley until the Vaporeon that had told Charlie to hide before popped her head out and grinned at Kirlia.

"Maybe I could help."

Homicidal rage disappeared from his countenance to be replaced by recognition, then mere curiosity.

"How?"

"Watch and learn my young apprentice. Sometimes subtlety is the best course of action."

The rock that had cracked against Jack's head glowed faintly before it telekinetically rose and scratched into the tree. The only sharp edge of the stone carefully carved into the bark, though the letters still were elongated and jagged. Kirlia scrutinized fruitlessly, for he did not read human. As his concentration wavered the rocks dropped one by one to the floor, except for the one carving. The first word ran around the trunk, so the rock went under the word for the second part. When it was finished, Crescent looked pleased, and Kirlia cocked his head to the side in question.

"…Kirlia? Jack?" The three actually conscious Pokémon turned at the sound of the voice,"… Crescent?"

Houndour plodded up to the trio in confusion. Ah that was right, Kirlia thought, the pooch had seen them head off into the woods, and Alexa was probably looking for them. The young pup stared at the sight, trying to put two and two together… to create fish. He glanced uncertainly between the two.

"Um…?"

"Go ahead, ask." Crescent shrugged, "I think you could figure it out if you tried hard enough though."

The dark type nodded uncertainly, and glanced at the incapacitated Treecko and the trembling Pichu. Charlie remained petrified with terror. _Ripping growls and jolting teeth…_

The tiny rodent turned and darted into the bush behind him, directly next to the glue bottle. Kirlia and Crescent had already followed Houndour's eye line and glimpsed the yellow fur ball retreating into the small greenery.

Crescent figured out the problem instantly and sighed. So the poor little guy was still spooked.

Kirlia's mind went on another track. Oh no- a witness! Kirlia floated just a bit and silently approached the shaking bush. No doubt a spy sent to catch his dastardly deed in the-

"JACK!"

Ah cake.

Kirlia dropped from the air and Crescent dove into the bushes again while Houndour was innocent enough to remain as he was. The awaited Pokémon trainer finally arrived on the scene and stopped just behind Houndour as she examined the scene before her. Charlie peeked out first to see black shiny buckled boots and black denim pants. With growing terror he tilted his head back to see neon green hair kept down with a black cap, but relaxed as he saw it was a girl. Not to be egotistical, but he did seem to have a certain charm with the female populace. That meant she would not kill him, which was a good thing. She wiped her disheveled green bangs from her face and huffed to catch her breath as she took in the sight. Kirlia turned to face Alexa's shocked expression as she realized that yes, her starter Pokémon was indeed stuck upside down to a tree, then confused as she tried to make out the jagged message across the tree bark, then horrified as she did so. Jack was slowly gaining consciousness, though not self-awareness and the still wet glue was starting to unstick. Alexa looked at her psychic Pokémon and indicated the Treecko, whose leg was slowly peeling off the tree.

"Kirlia, what happened?"

Kirlia considered the chances of him getting away with this. He looked at her, turned his gaze to Jack, returned his attention back to her, then shrugged. Crescent had to stop herself from giggling madly. Little Charlie just whimpered and backed into the leaves. A single drop of water fell onto the girl's nose and after a glance at the dark storm sky Alexa grabbed onto the dazed Treecko and pulled him off. She cradled him close, not caring if the sticky white paste got on her clothes.

"Crap, we need to get you cleaned up and out of here fast." She spotted something in the bush, and Kirlia fidgeted uncomfortably. "Hello, what's this?"

Great, she saw the bottle, now she'd make the connection and start yelling at him. She bent down to pick up the item.

"What're you doing in there little guy?"

Little guy? Kirlia blinked and looked back, only to see the tiny little Pichu scooped up by his trainer. Wide black eyes glistened up at Alexa disarmingly. And even this usually strong willed female could help but soften at the tiny little baby in her palm. Her own blue eyes widened and sparkled with instinctual female adoration. She did not even notice the several raindrops that plopped onto her.

_He's so… cute!_

Except an apple that was not visible before fell from the carved tree and clonked onto the rodent's head. The four witnesses winced as the apple knocked him out and made him fall from the trainer's hand to the floor.

"Erm, whoops." Alexa blinked nervously, as she looked him over. "I think he's just lost…"

A Vaporeon emerging almost regally from behind the tree caught her attention. He or she plodded over to the unconscious Pichu and nudged him with its head. With a dismayed expression it licked the unconscious face daintily before looking up with oddly familiar blue eyes to Alexa.

"You're taking care of him?"

The Vaporeon nodded. Jack blinked and moaned.

"Whoa… major headache." The green one muttered.

A distracting peal of thunder caught everyone's attention as the rain became more consistent.

"Oh no, we gotta get you back quick." She glared at the tree message and shook with rage. "And when I find whoever did this… they will _so_ pay! Come on guys, hurry."

And the raging teen turned and jogged back to the center. Young puppy eyes glanced at the Pichu curiously before loyally following Alexa back to the center. Kirlia glanced at the tree then at Crescent.

"What _does_ it say?"

"It reads: Free Food."

Kirlia's questioning turned to awe and admiration at the sheer brilliance. "Master, teach me your ways."

"I shall find you again my young apprentice," the legendary ancestor of all Pokémon promised. "But for now, you must fulfill your duty as a true and loyal Pokémon. Only when you have learned the ways of trust and of lies, will you be able to become a true master of trickery."

Kirlia nodded, with his arms held at his sides and his feet firmly planted on the dirt floor.

"I understand Master."

"Now go."

The young student clasped his arms together at chest level and bowed before turning and running to join his trainer, as was his duty.

Crescent looked after the retreating back of Kirlia and sighed as he glanced at little Charlie, Charlie the Pichu, Charlie the adventurer, as he fell into a comatose rest after his taxing journey.

"You've had quite the adventure, huh?"

Charlie had no response, seeing as he was incapacitated.

"Man, if you tried to tell anyone _half_ of what you've done and seen, I don't think anyone would believe you."

Still nothing.

"I suppose it would be best for you to go to a place away from all this bone headedness. Not a single normal person there. Guess I'm no exception…"

Mew wasn't really expecting an answer, by the way.

"Probably just me leaving you alone to recover on your own would be the best bet…" he grew serious for a moment as he went deep in thought. His eyes brightened at his sudden flash of genius. "How's Johto sound?"

* * *

To answer your question, 2+2= fish when you draw one of the twos backwards overlapping the other one. Old joke I had to throw in.

So yes, that is technically the final chapter, since all the fics were addressed and accounted for. *bows* If it's not too much trouble, I'd like the other two authors to review, just so that I know how I did by their standards. The epilogue I'll add after I've gotten moved and settled will just be Charlie psychotic break. (He actually just returns home, over unusual circumstances. But that certainly caught your attention, didn't it?)

And yes, I did notice that for the Apples Not Included: In a Nutshell I brought in apples every chapter. I'm sorry, it had to be done.

And much apologies for the fact that it took so long. I had this written for a while, but getting on and editing was another thing entirely. Not enough energy to wake up early enough to do it. *shakes head* But aren't you all glad it's over and done with now? Hope you enjoyed my story. Happy Holidays everyone! *waves*


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